Wow! This is a long chapter. So long that originally, it had three question sections. Take your time with each section of questions below. This is the core of where your relationship is currently sitting.
Questions for deeper interaction:
- When was the last time you found yourself in a verbal ping-pong match?
- How much of your time is your partner currently getting?
- This chapter talks about committing to the idea of hearing your partner before you offer any declarative statements. Would you consider writing down a promise to your spouse that you will commit to hearing her no matter what?
- Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person employed one of the three D’s on you? How did you feel? Where you able to point this out to them and find resolution?
- Have you employed the three D’s against someone you love?
- What does it mean to you to be heard?
- When do you feel most heard by your spouse?
- What does it mean for you to feel valued?
- In what ways does your partner feel most valued?
- What are the common ways your and spouse argue over valuing each other?
- What activities get the majority of your discretionary time? Kids sports programs? Hobbies? Work activities? Spouse?
- What secrets do you keep completely to yourself, including not sharing them with your spouse?
- If you knew for certain that your spouse would not judge you or use that story against you, what would that mean for you?
- What do you dream about that you don’t share with anyone?